Excuse my emotionalism, Julia came up to me today and asked me a question. "Mommy, did i have teachers when i was little?" We call Elijah's therapist his "teachers" The question caught me off guard. I have braced and prepared my self mentally/emotionally for many situations, surrounding autism. I try to pre think situations, what could possibly happen and mentally pre pare for them. This is one issue, i am kinda stumped on. I do not want to label Elijah in his siblings eyes quite yet. We want to see where exactly he falls on the spectrum before we make an issue of it. Life with autism right now is just regular life for us..as you can see by Julias question, sometimes it is hard to remember a time before this all happened. It made me a little sad, not because it bothers me per say..just that it sometimes reminds me how different our lives really are. I still struggle with this from time to time, missing the "normal", the way things were. Before we had 3 to 4 therapist a day every day coming into the house. I tried explaining to her the best i could in simple terms and not making a big deal of it, that Elijah gets his teachers because his brain doesn't learn how to speak the way our brain does. And his teachers help him learn that. And because her brain does learn to speak, she doesn't need them (teachers). She was ok with that answer and went on her merry way...but it left me with a small lump in my throat. a little wistful a little sad. ......And then Elijah's therapist came to me and said he had fallen asleep during therapy.....
So i went and carried my silent warrior to the couch and made him a little more comfortable, with a heavy heart just stared at his sweet sleeping face. This week, he has had 6 to 7 hours of therapy a day, its worn him out. And i have my days of feeling so guilty.
I didn't write this post to be a downer, i just wrote what IS. Our life with autism has many many ups and this isn't really a down. Its just a mommy feeling a little sappy and sad for her hard working baby.
Tracie, I can feel your pain. However, I have no idea what it would be like to have your daily lives so disrupted. It is amazing what teachers can do for little ones like Elijah. It is has to be sooo tough for the little guy as well. I am sure he knows that he is different than the rest of the family. But God gave Elijah to you and Kris as He knew you would love this sweet little boy so unconditionally. As for Julia, it is good she is asking questions. I know there are going to be other children asking her questions about her brother also. The more she knows, the more she will understand and hopefully teach other kids to understand. I know the growing up years for Julia are going to be tough because of the hurtful remarks and attacks of other kids. We will always be praying for your family. You have a precious precious family from God. We love you guys tremendously.
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