Wednesday, April 6, 2011
A video with a story similar to mine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYzJhUFGSVc i cried the entire 10 minutes because our story's are so similar. you may want to turn the volume down.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I cried the day i found out Elijah was put on the Spectrum
I guess alot of parents get mad at the bearer of the autisium message. Our peidtrician was the one to tell my husband. He was at a well child check up for titus when she let him know that elijah had failed his MCHAT (a survey style questionair to screen for early autisium). Kris handeled it rearkably. It didnt really bother him. He came home and told me. And i cried. I dont know why. It doesnt mean i love elijah less, or he is less of a person. I had been dealing with his behaviors at that point for over a year. Its not like being put on the spectrum all the sudden makes anything thing worse/better. Elijah wold be autistic labled or not. But i felt so many emotions at that point. Guilt (was it something i had done pregnant?) Sadness(he will struggle) Hope (maybe they are wrong) fear (of the future). I sat on my living room floor with big ole crocadile tears running out of my eyes holding my son and i let it all sink in. I will always remember that day...because elijah couldnt have been any more precious or more dear to me then at that moment. I wrote that day in his baby book. And then i decided to move forward.
Monday, April 4, 2011
PECs
If you were to come over my house during the day you would see thease. Thease are PECs cards. Picture Exchange Communication System. I actually made the ones pictured. Thease cards are to help non verbal people communicate their needs with the hope that eventually they will put words to the pictures. This is one of the therepy things i do with elijah. I am still trying to get used to it..it doesnt feel so natural yet. I am told it will...we will see..haha.
Because Elijah has a hard time identifing emotion we have cards for that too. I never seem to remember to break out the mad card tho when he is throwing a fit....like i said it will take time to get used to,
We are trying to have a pec for everything.
This is a very common system on trying to teach non verbal chilren to communicate their needs. Elijah still has a long way to go with this. He still has a hard time identifiying the word with the picture. But he will get it eventually. As of now i am making up games to help him. Treasure Hunts with the pec cards. I am trying to be creative so it seems more fun than work..because communiting his needs is really hard work for him. So now you know. PECS! A simple idea..great potential!
Intruducing Zoe Jean..aka..Tracie Jr ;)
Yesterday i went a traveling into the middle of no where. For real. Over the river and through the woods to...Katie's house i did go. Haha just joking, even tho Katie likes to pretend she lives in the middle of no where it really isn't bad! I mean she has a walmart, pizza places and a good church.. what more do you need? She lives in a super cute small town(which i happen to love small towns) and now i have a super cute small niece (my very first) who lives there..away from me. Stupid long distances. But My sister is very well taken care of and very loved up there in the boonies. She has really great friends who love her almost as much as i do. So it makes it a little easier...OK that's a lie, but it makes me happy to know at least. 
Welcome Home Brinkerhoff Family!
I am hoping they will learn to love her in time. (hhahahaha)
My Sweet niece was born march 31st at 12:11 at 7lbs 1oz and 18 1/2in. If you dressed her in blue and herd her cry you would still know she was a girl...she is so feminine, even her cry is girlie! I miss her already.
I am hoping they will learn to love her in time. (hhahahaha)
Saturday, April 2, 2011
10 things elijah wishes you knew
Here are ten things every child with autism wishes you knew:
1. I am first and foremost a child. I have autism. I am not primarily “autistic.” My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.
As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don’t think I “can do it,” my natural response will be: Why try?
2. My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a “simple” trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:
My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today’s special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can’t filter all the input and I’m in overload!
My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia….I can’t sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.
Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing — the space seems to be constantly changing. There’s glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with “tunnel vision”), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can’t even tell where my body is in space.
3. Please remember to distinguish between won’t (I choose not to) and can’t (I am not able to).
Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: “*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*………” Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: “Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It’s time to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.
4. I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It’s very confusing for me when you say, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you really mean is “Please stop running.” Don’t tell me something is a “piece of cake” when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is “this will be easy for you to do.” When you say “It’s pouring cats and dogs,” I see pets coming out of a pitcher. Please just tell me “It’s raining very hard.”
Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.
5. Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It’s hard for me to tell you what I need when I don’t know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.
Or, there’s a flip side to this: I may sound like a “little professor” or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called “echolalia.” I don’t necessarily understand the context or the terminology I’m using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.
6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.
A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations. Here’s a great website for learning more about visual schedules: http://www.blogger.com/www.cesa7.k12.wi.us/sped/autism/structure/str11.htm.
I won’t lose the need for a visual schedule as I get older, but my “level of representation” may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words.
7. Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do. Like any other human, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough and that I need “fixing.” Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however “constructive,” becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one “right” way to do most things.
8. Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I’m delighted to be included.
I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don’t know how to “read” facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny. It’s that I don’t know the proper response. Teach me to say “Are you OK?”
9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.
Try to remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment.
Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior.
10. If you are a family member, please love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, “If he would just……” and “Why can’t she…..” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you – I am worth it.
And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won’t be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.
They had autism too.
1. I am first and foremost a child. I have autism. I am not primarily “autistic.” My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.
As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don’t think I “can do it,” my natural response will be: Why try?
2. My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a “simple” trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:
My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today’s special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can’t filter all the input and I’m in overload!
My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia….I can’t sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.
Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing — the space seems to be constantly changing. There’s glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with “tunnel vision”), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can’t even tell where my body is in space.
3. Please remember to distinguish between won’t (I choose not to) and can’t (I am not able to).
Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: “*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*………” Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: “Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It’s time to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.
4. I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It’s very confusing for me when you say, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you really mean is “Please stop running.” Don’t tell me something is a “piece of cake” when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is “this will be easy for you to do.” When you say “It’s pouring cats and dogs,” I see pets coming out of a pitcher. Please just tell me “It’s raining very hard.”
Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.
5. Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It’s hard for me to tell you what I need when I don’t know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.
Or, there’s a flip side to this: I may sound like a “little professor” or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called “echolalia.” I don’t necessarily understand the context or the terminology I’m using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.
6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.
A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations. Here’s a great website for learning more about visual schedules: http://www.blogger.com/www.cesa7.k12.wi.us/sped/autism/structure/str11.htm.
I won’t lose the need for a visual schedule as I get older, but my “level of representation” may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words.
7. Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do. Like any other human, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough and that I need “fixing.” Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however “constructive,” becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one “right” way to do most things.
8. Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I’m delighted to be included.
I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don’t know how to “read” facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny. It’s that I don’t know the proper response. Teach me to say “Are you OK?”
9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.
Try to remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment.
Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior.
10. If you are a family member, please love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, “If he would just……” and “Why can’t she…..” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you – I am worth it.
And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won’t be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.
They had autism too.
The begining signs with elijah
Its hard to say when i first noticed something was different. Elijah is very normal to me. He is so normal in fact, in many different areas, as any little boy would be. When i look back at things now, better educated about autism i can say, ahhhh that's why he did that etc.But allot of early signs can just be nuances or quirks. I think my first "different" or memorable times i can think back on goes to when he was 6 months old. I remember Elijah refused to wear bibs, he would get all weird about having them around his neck. He would tear them off every single time. Don't seem significant, but to this day Elijah hates things going around his head. I now know children with autism, not all of them but a good number, have sensory integration issues. which basically means their 5 senses that we all use are in over drive or in some cases under drive. Elijah hates being changed. You may say, any kid does..but this is to the extreme. If you would like to experience this, come get Elijah dressed for church on a Sunday morning. There is allot of screaming crying kicking biting hitting punching going on. allot of fun lol. It normally takes over and hour to calm him back down. Another way Elijah is sensory sensitive, he actually under reacts to pain, he can get hurt really really bad and it doesn't phase him. He also sometimes has a hard time with sound and touch but i haven't been able to figure out his triggers for that yet. He also hates taking medicine orally. not fun.
I also remember he would obsess over outlet covers. he had to pull them out. another thing that doesn't seem so unusual but he was obsessed, one time i spent over 4hrs teaching him not to touch and he still didn't get it. Of course i now know autistic children do not get social clues, discipline is very hard to reinforce when a child doesn't get language or emotion.
another thing that stands out is how adamant he hated cameras, another common problem with autistic children. I will let you in on a little secret. I got into photography because of my sweet boy. I could no longer take him to professionals because of his extreme opposition to being photographed. So i stepped up to the plate. I would not let my little boys life go unrecorded. It is still very difficult to get a picture of him, but he is improving in this area.
I remember Elijah as being such an easy sweet baby he rarely asked for anything. He was undemanding and easy gong. He was way ahead in all the physical milestones, sat at 3 months old, crawled in his 5th month walking by 9 months etc...he even spoke his first word on time according to developmental mile stones.
its funny looking back how things make sense now...but those would be the earliest signs i had of Elijah up to 9 months old. I cant say any thing was exactly earth shattering. That was just the way he was.
I also remember he would obsess over outlet covers. he had to pull them out. another thing that doesn't seem so unusual but he was obsessed, one time i spent over 4hrs teaching him not to touch and he still didn't get it. Of course i now know autistic children do not get social clues, discipline is very hard to reinforce when a child doesn't get language or emotion.
another thing that stands out is how adamant he hated cameras, another common problem with autistic children. I will let you in on a little secret. I got into photography because of my sweet boy. I could no longer take him to professionals because of his extreme opposition to being photographed. So i stepped up to the plate. I would not let my little boys life go unrecorded. It is still very difficult to get a picture of him, but he is improving in this area.
I remember Elijah as being such an easy sweet baby he rarely asked for anything. He was undemanding and easy gong. He was way ahead in all the physical milestones, sat at 3 months old, crawled in his 5th month walking by 9 months etc...he even spoke his first word on time according to developmental mile stones.
its funny looking back how things make sense now...but those would be the earliest signs i had of Elijah up to 9 months old. I cant say any thing was exactly earth shattering. That was just the way he was.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Autisium Awarness Month
For Family Members
A child’s autism diagnosis affects every member of the family in different ways. Parents/caregivers must now place their primary focus on helping their child with ASD, which may put strains on their marriage, other children, work, finances, and personal relationships and responsibilities. Parents now have to shift much of their resources of time and money towards providing treatment and interventions for their child, to the exclusion of other priorities. The needs of a child with ASD complicate familial relationships, especially with siblings. However, parents can help their family by informing their other children about autism and the complications it introduces, understanding the challenges siblings face and helping them cope, and involving members of the extended family to create a network of help and understanding (Understanding Autism for Dummies, 2006).About Autism
Autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and affects a person’s ability to communicate and interact with others. Autism is defined by a certain set of behaviors and is a "spectrum disorder" that affects individuals differently and to varying degrees. There is no known single cause for autism, but increased awareness and funding can help families today.In December 2009, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued their ADDM autism prevalence report. The report concluded that the prevalence of autism had risen to 1 in every 110 births in the United States and almost 1 in 70 boys. The issuance of this report caused a media uproar, but the news was not a surprise to the Autism Society or to the 1.5 million Americans living with the effects of autism spectrum disorder. Nonetheless, the spotlight shown on autism as a result of the prevalence increase opens opportunities for the nation to consider how to serve these families facing a lifetime of supports for their children.
Currently, the Autism Society estimates that the lifetime cost of caring for a child with autism ranges from $3.5 million to $5 million, and that the United States is facing almost $90 billion annually in costs for autism (this figure includes research, insurance costs and non-covered expenses, Medicaid waivers for autism, educational spending, housing, transportation, employment, in addition to related therapeutic services and caregiver costs).
Know the Signs: Early Identification Can Change Lives
Autism is treatable. Children do not "outgrow" autism, but studies show that early diagnosis and intervention lead to significantly improved outcomes.
Here are some signs to look for in the children in your life:
- Lack of or delay in spoken language
- Repetitive use of language and/or motor mannerisms (e.g., hand-flapping, twirling objects)
- Little or no eye contact
- Lack of interest in peer relationships
- Lack of spontaneous or make-believe play
- Persistent fixation on parts of objects.....
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