Can you believe its been 30 days of Autism????

Wow, here we are the last day of autism awareness month! I cant believe it. I still plan on blogging on autism and Elijah, but i have 2 other kiddos i love to talk about also. And i will be blogging less, a couple times a week. I jut want to thank you all so much for tuning in, and educating your selves on autism, Blogger lets me know how many people have read the articles (not who tho)...and i am so excited at the numbers..because you really care and want to know! That means the world to me...really truly THANK YOU! It touches my heart in a way that only a mommy of a special needs child can understand..you want to know more about Elijah, and that humbles me. It was such an encouragement this past month.

 Elijah gave me something last night. An early birthday present of sorts. He called me mama last night and continued to do so today. I had never had a name before, he sometimes called me daddy. But not any more :) I will admit...i got a "lil" misty eyed..i had waited forever for it. It was something that had always bothered me. I love the sound of it...and he now can have just about anything he wants if he flashes the big hazel eyes at me and pleads "mama"....how can i refuse him??? I am relishing every second he calls me. I get this incredibly dorky grin on my face, i hope he doesn't think i am laughing at him! Sometime when i learn how to download video i will have to do some of him talking...he is a tad camera shy but i will try! He has come such a long way, and he is also starting to get vocabulary comprehension..he has started to be able to follow some simple demands!!!! I am so proud of my son, i love him so much it hurts.

Love,
MaMa ;)

Breaking up is hard to do!

We are slowly letting Elijah's therapist know we have decided to go with a new company. Its so hard, cause everyone is so nice. It would be so much easier if we hated them. We have had them in home now for 4 months.
Its nothing personal...
Its not you its me...
I just gotta do whats best for my son...
*sigh*
Breaking up is hard to do!

I cant believe tomorrow is my last day of my 30 day quest to raise autism awareness! I of course will still be blogging about our journey..but it wont just be on our autism journey..it will be about other things too! and more like 2 o 3 times a week instead of every day:)

Vaccines..and Autism

Ah the post i have been dreading...lol. Might as well get it over with. Ha.

Such a controversial subject! Well...this topic bothers me allot. Because everyone is looking to blame some one or something for the cause. Don't get me wrong if a cure is found or discovered, i would be first in line. But i am kinda sick of the angry attitude people have against vaccines. I am at peace with Elijah's diagnosis. I am not mad at anyone, nor looking to place blame. God never created a mistake. He didn't say whoops! when he created Elijah, I in fact know that Elijah having autism was His plan all along. And i completely accept that. Period. I choose not to question it. Instead i look at the positive of it. Yes it is hard work, really really really hard work. At times i feel so inadequate. Really, me Lord....you want me to be responsible for this sweet boy, was i really the right choice?  But anything in life you have to work at or is hard is the most rewarding.

I can not blame vaccines for Elijah's condition. Because he had signs at a young age. I would say by 6 months old. The MMR is not administered until 12 to 15 months old. No, the signs were not obvious. I thought he was incredibly laid back and sweet, non demanding. But now as an educated parent i can look back and see them. Even to this day though it would still be hard to know for sure if i had to do it all over again in hind sight. It only became obvious when he failed to progress. He just stalled. But let me say..Elijah is the least vaccinated of all my children, when i knew something was wrong i started delaying shots..and Elijah is still very very behind. Funny thing is my normal developing children are all up to snuff on theirs. The reason i delay shots for Elijah is his immune system is very weak. If we go to church and there is a kid who had the puke bug or a cold 3 days ago..Elijah with out fail will catch it. And then the next 2 weeks are miserable to say the least. Because of his sensory integration issues even the tiniest cold will set off the craziest behaviors. Makes me think maybe that is why Allot of parents notice the Autism more after vaccinations..Their senses go into over drive and they become hard to control. Also i believe vaccinations are good thing. Yes, i wish they were more "green"...i get the "greenest" shots out there. I always say i would rather have an Autistic son than a dead one...seriously. Of all my kids Elijah would be the one to catch measles or mumps or rubella...heck..even chicken pox..and we have had deaths in the family associated with those. I don't enjoy my kids having shots...i understand the risk, my decision to vaccinate is an educated one. I don't believe everything i read on the Internet...i believe any extreme is wrong..I am not all gung ho shots or gung ho no shots. I get tired reading entirely biased articles on both sides. I do not believe the government has a conspiracy out there to make all our children autistic.  If i spent all my life worrying about these issues all i would do is worry my life away and dedicate my time to being natural..and my life and my children lives would pass by spent in fear. Instead i try to take a balanced approach. I feed my children healthy food. I take precautions...but it isn't my lives work to inform everyone on the planet. Or be obnoxious. Elijah was totally breast fed, only ate home made organic baby food. Plain and simple...not every thing is in our hands. Somethings were just meant to be. So instead of being paranoid  I have chosen to cast  my care upon God. I am not in control. I have never felt more out of control. But that is ok, because when i am in control i tend to mess everything up any way.

*please note, i understand each parent has there own reasons for doing what they are doing with their child, i do what i believe is right. As well i am sure you do what you think is right. This post is not ment to condescend anyone or to say i know better. So please don't send me emails on how shots are evil..i have herd and researched it all before trust me*

Mommy Bragging ;)

This little boy has been making his momma so proud lately! His eye contact keep on improving. Its getting great actually! He is giving eye contact to non family members even. Such a blessing! His improvements have been significant the past couple weeks. We have been doing some ABA style therapy's on his off week and he now says the color "lellow" I will place color PECS on the floor next to color blocks..and have been trying to teach him to match them. He is doing so well, he rarely makes mistakes now! How cool is that, now he just needs to learn the names of the color better. He also knows a circle very well! What a smartie pants!

Isn't this just so great? Allot of hard work but so rewarding! His potty training is going well. He is independent in the fact if he is naked or just wearing under ware on the bottom...he will take himself and never have an accident. Putting pants on is a whole nother story....i hand wash allot of underwear ;) The progress is answer to prayer. Ex specially since i was told he would be years from doing this.

Q&As

These are the most common questions asked of me...I hope this helps!
1. How is Titus doing???
A. Ty is doing great! Developmental wise, he has hit or exceeded every mark and is already calling Kris Dada. His eye contact is spot on, and thinks he world revolves around him, and has a temper already! He is very very different than Elijah at this age. He reminds me the most of Julia at this point. Although i cannot claim we are out of the woods with him at this point because there is such a thing as regressive autism, i am starting to think Titus will not be in fact, autistic. I can already tell a difference!

2. Will this affect your decision to have more kids?
A. Yes and No. I would be lying if i said it at the very least doesn't make me very very nervous. Not that I even have an ounce of regret on having Elijah. But scared if we had another autistic child if i could handle 2 of them! Its allot of hard work! At this point we are gonna wait to see the progress Elijah makes. How functioning he gets. Being pregnant with Ty and caring for Elijah was awful, to put it frankly. I am on bed rest with every pregnancy, and the physical and mental demands put on me with Elijah are physically and mentally draining. At his worse he was punching and kicking my belly, and if could lift him...and that is def required. I can say Kris and i have a desire to have another baby very very far down the road. But that doesn't mean we will have one for sure...allot of ducks have to fall into place first. Besides i am really not in a hurry!

3. What is Autism?
A. Well my answer will be different than another autistic parents. Because we all communicate so differently. and so Autism will be different in each child. But they do have some typical characteristics they share. Like extremely delayed speech. Sensory integration issues. And understanding social cues. I know right now autism for our family means allot of frustration. Elijah is working on single words still. His vocabulary is still very small. I could Handel all aspects of autism, but the whole not being able to communicate with my own son kills me! The best way i have herd it described was by my own hubby, its like Elijah is from a very different culture, the language is different, and so are the customs..its hard to relate to him sometimes.

4. How is Elijah doing?
A. Really Really well! I am more than pleased with how he is progressing! He now says bye bye when someone is leaving. He pretends play. He loves being A super hero. He is saying some animal sounds and starting to learn his shapes and colors. I work that boy all.the.time. and its paying off. He had off last week from therapy and i did some ABA style sessions with him and he made a ton of progress! His therapist noticed when they came back, they were so surprised! and i was so happy....its working! He still gets frustrated strangers are in our home, but he is starting to play longer and longer with them. He isn't in a formal ABA program yet. I cant wait to see the progress when he is!

5. What caused Elijah to have Autism?
A. This is not an easy answer. A short version of what i believe.., genetics, and environmental factors. The long version...I would like to state, Elijah was hardly vaccinated..at all. He is still severely behind. Elijah also had the least amount of ultra sounds of all my kids. My 2 other kids have always been on time and on schedule for their shots. I postponed Elijah's shots because i knew something was different. If you know the nature of Autism any sickness will aggravate the symptoms of Autism. Elijah is a beast when sick. A cold for him takes 2 weeks of aggressive behavior. This is why i think some people think the shots cause autism. Because if an Autistic child isn't feeling well, they let you know! I want to share more about my ideas on this but it will be for another post, to much detail!

6. How do you do it?
A. I don't know. Some things we have put in place to survive. I first of all wake Ty up every 2 hrs at night to nurse, this is called reverse feeding...i do this to keep nursing him. I don't have the time in the day hardly. So i use this method so he can stay nursed. I am now considering though when we go to intensive therapy that i may have to wean him, my goal is to make it to 9 months. Second I stay up til 1 to 2 am in the morning doing my regular chores. A girl only has 24 hrs to work with, so i sleep allot less. Ty is taking longer naps so i do Julia's home school during them. These are just a few of the things we have in place right now to get by.

7. How are the 2 other kiddos handling it?
A. well Ty thinks all the attention is great from the therapist. Julia has a harder time. she would love to do the therapy sessions..but its hard for her not to get jealous. Kris and i try so hard to keep a good balance. We don't want Julia to feel as though she isn't important. So we try to do dates and take moments to make her feel special.

well i hope this helped! Thank You for your questions! It means  allot!

Body Socks!

This is Elijah in OT today. The contraption he is in is called a body sock. Its made of nylon, it has an opening at the top. He gets in it and the therepist pulls on it tightly. Alot of children that have autism are on a sensory diet. every 2 hrs they have certin activitys they do to help regulate their sences. Like jumping on an excercize ball, the body sock, the fabric tunnel, holding a vibrating massager, and many many more. I would have thought this was a bunch of balonga a while ago...but it has been working great for elijah! we just have to make sure we schedual every 2 hrs to do somethng sensory. And it has cut back his behaviors by like half! Thank you body sock!

From a Grandma's Heart.

Elijah was a beautiful baby.  Big---from the start and he kept growing. He was just beautiful.  No odd features, He was just perfect, so it seemed.

When he was six months old, I knew something was different. He was such a good baby, but he was just too good.  He was fed, he was in his father's arms, he is just a Daddy's boy, I told myself.  He was content, but like I said, too content.  The nursery workers loved him, he was so well behaved, he was just too well behaved.  No looks across the room trying to get your attention.  No squeals when he saw people he would recognize, for he did not recognize hardly anyone until after age two. 

By 12 months old, we were hoping for words starting to come out of his mouth. Waiting for Elijah to obey simple commands like, "Go get the ball!"  Nothing. 

Age Eighteen months... nothing....but his melt downs were beginning.  Yes, they asked a doctor at his 18 month check up---Tracie would say, "I know the difference between disobedience and simply not understanding."  The doctor told her that he knew everything she was saying, But he didn't.  We knew it deep down, but there is something inside of you, because you loved him, that you hope that all of a sudden he is going to start to understand his world around him.

At age two, it was very evident something was wrong.  No eye contact at all...so hard to get a picture, not understanding any commands...if you went up to him to wave bye bye, he swung at you because he did not understand bye bye. To him you were trying to hit him.  Asking him if he wanted a piece of candy caused a break down, he fell to the floor crying.  He looked at it as you stopped him from playing because you did not want him to have fun. .....but all in all he is such a beautiful little boy.....

At 2 1/2...maybe a few words. but only  if you knew Elijah and could understand him.  Hardly any eye contact---but what he did have is because of his parents making him look at them when they talked to him by squeezing his hands  until he looked at them.   Even though he did not understand them...he had to start at step one.  Taking his Christmas picture was a riot.  I got the privilege of holding him on my lap while taking the picture.  He looked at it as someone holding him hostage and holding him down, almost torture.... and as an Autistic secret agent, his duty was to escape at all cost.   He did not understand that we wanted a picture of him with his Pa pa  and Grandma.  Another melt down. Which you never know in public when they may come.

Now he just turned three.  I love that he is understanding a few simple things.  Like "I'm going to get you!"  I get to chase him around the house.  The rule, No running in the house?????  Not with Grandma.  He loves trains. He loves trucks.  Pa Pa's truck is the best.  Like any other boy, he acts likes he hates kisses....but I give him them anyhow.  And when he smirks when I give them,  I know that he is understanding something.  No he does  not understand 90% of what you say to him, but someday....and in the future when I say to Elijah, do you want a piece of candy, and he turns and says, " yes, please,"  I am running to the nearest store.  That boy will get whatever he wants.

Grandma loves you, Elijah. 

Publish Post

Marriage...with a special needs child

If you haven't read yesterdays post my husband just wrote check it out!

One thing i keep reading over and over again in my autism research is how  marriage is doomed to fail in parents of autistic children, i have seen stats at like 80% or something crazy like that. How depressing, "hey your kid has autism...and by the way..most likely your marriage will fail"...real nice ;)

Now, having a child with autism is not easy, the day to day stress is overwhelming to say the least. But i do have to say i am more in love with my husband now than ever before. I couldn't have picked a more perfect partner to share this journey with. I married my best friend, and i am so glad i did. There are days i cry, get so stressed out and get so discouraged. Days i feel like a failure because i can not keep up with house hold demands because life is so crazy with appointments and therapy's and trying to be everything i need to be. At times it feels hopeless. And then my knight in shining armor comes home from work. Doesn't bat an eye at my messy hair, hairy legs, the fact supper isn't done yet or their are puzzle pieces still on the floor from therapy. He walks through the door gives me a huge hug and kiss, tells me how much he has missed being home and then starts chasing the kids around and fills the house with laughter. He is always so thankful for what i can get done, seeing the positive instead of the negative i focus on all day long. I need him. He is my biggest cheerleader. I am so proud of the father he is. So you nay Sayer's of marriage of parents of a special needs child..i say boo on you..because this whole process has made us more of a team.....and i just happen to have a huge crush on the captain ;)

Answered Prayer

A short post my husband wrote about coming to terms with autism.....

I had my suspicions that Elijah was delayed. That was about one year and four months ago. He wasn’t much more than one and a half years old. But behaving nothing like Julia at that age. I had my reasons for avoiding these suspicions. But when little things showed up at times when I was not expecting them, it’s hard to ignore them. It’s hard to face them. It’s hard to be the parent – the father, the discipliner, the consistent guardian and teacher, - that I thought I would be.

I had my fears that I would have a child with disabilities. That was about twenty years ago. I was not even a teenager. I would pray that God would not let me have a “special needs” child. I prayed that God would make all my kids “normal”. I feared “imperfection”.

I put these words in apostrophes because they are not what I use anymore when talking with God. They are not useful anymore. I do not pray for my “special needs” child; for God to give me a “normal” son; for the “perfect” child.

God has given me what I have. He did not give me a “Special Needs” child. Instead, He has given me a

Special Place

in my heart just for Elijah. He did not give me a “Normal” child. Instead, He has given me the Enormous love of a son who sees me like no one else has or will. However, He has given me the “Perfect” child. Perfect in the sense of God’s Perfect will: I am walking up the path of parenthood and I’m learning about God’s love and I’m finding it’s what God’s wanted all along.

Questions!

Ok so this isn't so much informational as it is just a pre cursor to a post. I want to do a question and answer post soon. So i would love it if you have a question you would like answered about autism or Elijah or both, fire away...i do get asked some things...and i greatly appreciate it. It means you want to know about Elijah. and chances are if you are wondering..so are other people. Some questions i get that i will answer..So how is Titus doing in comparison? Will you have more kids because of this? if you have a question for me either in box me through face book, e mail me at getsaved4@juno.com or leave a question in the comment section here. I will not post names with the question. just the question and answer! Please do this! i want to know, what you want to know..tomorrow my husband will do a guest post on his take on autism! I am looking forward to seeing what he has to say!

videos on ABA

Click here to see a video of an ABA session

ABA,DIR,DRA...and decisions

The treatment therapy we have decided to go with for Elijah is the ABA. http://autism.about.com/od/alllaboutaba/a/abaoverview.htm

Please check out the link for a better explanation of ABA, i have decided not to write about it myself, because we have yet to enter Elijah into a ABA program. Elijah needs the structure. The ABA style is more conducive to our parenting style. IT asks something of the child and it is expected to get a response. The other style of therapy is DIR or DRA..these are child led therapy's...the instructor follows the child around and if he say, picks up a fork..they will say "that's a fork Elijah" "this is what we do with a fork" this style of therapy is based on trying to build relationships. Elijah doesn't have a problem with loving and being loved. He understands this. WE have decided this is not the most important therapy he needs. He needs the structure.  I cant say that enough. The company we are going to go with has a curriculum, and we will have team meetings 2xs a month. Everything is well charted and documented. I have to admit that appeals to my over charting and overlisting ways. I can see how the therapy's can work or different types of personality's. If you have a child who is weak in emotional and attachment issues i can see the DRA therapy being appropriate. I wouldn't judge a parent for choosing a different style than i do..for each child is different. Elijah's weaknesses needs the ABA system i believe. I have been told it will be very hard on him at first. I am to expect allot of tempers (nothing new) and the amount of therapy will be hard. but nothing has come easy in this journey. I am excited to start this new chapter. I have one more company to interview next week..they offer both therapy's. And then the intensive therapy begins. eeeeekkk!
 Here is some info on DRA or DIR..if you are interested http://autismadvice.com/dir-floortime-therapy-focus-child-interests/

Another Meeting (we have allot of those)

Today we had another meeting for Elijah. This was to interview for his intensive therapy sessions. He will be getting minimum 10 hrs a week and working up to maximum 30hrs in a months time. This is the company i interviewed today. http://www.centerforautism.com/  I knew about them because of all the research i have done. They do a therapy called ABA, its kinda tough love so to speak. It closely mimics Kristofer's and i parenting style. It will be a good fit..i haven't signed up with them yet i have one more company coming next week to interview,  but they are in the top running. The reason i like ABA therapy is because they keep allot of documentation. We would have meetings with Elijah's whole team twice a month, and its very organized. Which i desperately need right now. I want to write a post on the ABA therapy style tomorrow. I will address why we chose that style and what we hope to gain from it. I was also broached the subject of keeping Elijah home for another year, if i go with CARD..i am liking that idea...they have a curriculum they want to follow and that takes time...also in a post to come i want to have my husband write a guest post on his take of this whole experience. I think it would be helpful!Have a great night!

7 miniute video

 this shows what parents of autistic children are up against....  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDMMwG7RrFQ..... 

A big compliment

We had a family dinner at my parents house tonight. it was great. Elijah did really well, i am excited to see him creating relationships with other people, and enjoying it! He played with the other kids really well. These are huge steps for him! Large groups and noise can be tough, but he is getting really well at adapting to it. And enjoying it! At the end of the night he went up to my parents refridgerator..which has picture magnets of Kris Julia Elijah and i. He took them down, looked at them with the sweetest smile on his face and kissed them and hugged them to his chubby cheek. He actually carried them around a little and kissed them a couple times. My son can not say "i love you" or even "mommy" but at that very moment he didn't have to say anything..it touched my heart. Got me all teary eyed...i think that may have been one of the biggest compliment s i have ever been given, after a tough week, that's all i need to march ahead. This little boy of mine is so amazing, i am so blessed.

The Little Therepist

One of the biggest influences in Elijah's life, is his big sister. We couldn't have asked for a more compassionate, loving, role model for Him. When he gets a little nervous, she is there to reassure him. She will try the therapy's out to show Elijah that all is OK. She is there to cheer him on when he learns a new word, or goes on the potty or conquers a new task. Its not easy being a sibling to an autistic child. But Julia handles it beautifully. She is one of the greatest asset to Elijah's progress and i have to give a shout out to my little girl. She deserves a little recognition, for all the hard work she does!

How we got Elijah Help

I am writting this post in case there is some one out there who has concerns about their child and doesnt know how to address them. First of all i want to say, it wasnt overly obvious to me first that Elijah needed help. He is very normal to me in so many ways. In our daily family routine he has his peice of he family puzzle just like my other 2. He is our son, he is a brother both a big brother and a little brother. He is silly, loving, fun, smart, sensitive, caring...i couldnt tell wether it was just going to be his personality or the way he was. I would look at the things he could do and say well he can do xy and z so he must be ok! The thing that drove me to get him help was he couldnt communicate and i could tell it bothered him. I can only imagine what life would be like not being able to speak words or understand them that are spoken to you. How frusterating! So i spoke to Elijahs Peidtrition, to qualify for Early Intervention services or EI as it is often called you must have a referral. So Elijah doctor wrote one for me. I met with his service cordinator, she came to my house. And we disscussed my concerns. And based on them we found a childrens developmental acessor. The company Bright Starts did elijahs. He basically flunked every thing. At the acessment they reccomended that he be acessed for sensory intake by an ocupational therepist. once the accessment were done my service cordinator called around like crazy trying to find speech special ed and ocupational therepy. it took 2 months to finally get an ocupational threrepist. I guess they are super high demand! Now that Elijah has a lable I have to choose an intensive therepy service, i will have in home therepy for some where between 10 and 30 hrs a week. eek! I have been waiting to hear from them. They will come to my house and present their programs. And then i must decide who to go with. Then in the fall elijah will be sent to an intergrated pre school. Where they mix normally developing children and delayed learners all in one class room. He will receive all of his services in one spot. And then come back home. I am not looking forward to that at all. But elijahs well being is more important than what i want. All of this so far has taken place in a 4 month time span. Its alot of work and phone calls and schedualing. But i am up for it, some say it is possible to recover from autisium...i dont just want elijah to recover from it..i want him to kick it in the rear! and i fully exspect him to.

What Autisim means to us

I thought sence we are getting to the middle of my personal 30 day challange to raise autisim awarness, i would get a little more personal and disscuss Elijah and his circumstances. Because i have been posting so much on general autisium, i thought maybe i could make it a little more intamite. After all, i have a very selfish reason to raise awarness..i want people to understand my son more. I want people to see the sweet loving boy behind the behaviors. To see what i see, not the autisium, but a very real little boy who is perfect. This will probablly take quite a few posts..our Autisim journey didnt start the day he was diagnosed..he has always been autistic. But he has also always been my little boy.

I want to talk about Elijahs early limitations today, and believe you me...what he excells in will have a post of its own eventually. Because I am so proud of how far he has come. This is really important to say, even though it hurts, because i cant exspect people to understand my son if i am not open about him. And i am truly not ashamed either.

Elijah more than exceeded all his milestones and did them very very early, like sitting up at 3 months old and crawling at 5months walking at 9 months and he even said his first words on schedual. His first word was "that"..lol..he also said daddy very shortly after a year old. And then something happened, i cant remember the exscat time, but he just stopped progressing. Like at a screaching halt. For a whole year. He said about 5 words at 18 months old..and up til december at 32 months still only said 5 words. If he would try to speak he would get his words backwards. Or the sounds mixed up..or the inclanations werent right. He just couldnt get it. Even worse..he understood like 5% of what i said. If i asked him for his sippie cup..he had no clue. He couldnt communicate any of his needs at all. It was like we were speaking different languages and from different cultures. Being his mom i could usally guess what the problem was, but anyone else would have no clue where he was comming from. At first i could tell people just thought he was a spoiled brat. His tempers started at about 18 mnths. He would spaz out at the strangest things. He was uncontrollable. And at the worst of it i was surviving day to day with a very angry little boy who was very violent. At the time i was pregnant and on bed rest and very overwhelmed. I would cry out of helplessness. He was undisciplinable. And that is not an excuse, i would try and try and try..and he never ever got it. He couldnt connect his behaviors with his punishment. It just didnt connect. My self esteem as a parent dropped. I felt so helpless. I went to my then peidtrition and he told me not to worry, because he could say a phrase "i did it". I knew something was wrong but was in a position not to do anything. Being on bed rest kris and i decided to wait til our baby was born before we could activly pursue anything with elijah. It was phycially impossable to do much at the time. We started reserching on the internet and kris found an interesting study about floor play and imitation. Basically you follow the kid around and copy everything he does for about 20 min incraments. looking back this had a huge impact. We had our very first break throughs doing this. Everytime he would do something knew we would scream and laugh and jump for joy, and even though it was a happy time, it made us realize how rare his progression really were. I had titus in september, i gave my self 8 weeks to heal..and then i became a momma on a mission. At Titus' 2 month appointment i spoke to our new (yes i dropped the old peid like a bad habit) peid about elijah and she was amazing helping me get the ball rolling.I am so greatful to her (so if you need an amazing peid let me know i love her!). Seince i have started the process with getting elijah early intervention it has heped me so much, there are other kids like elijah out there! He isnt the only one! And the therepist have been so encouraging..turns out, Elijah is very well behaved for an autistic child! I havent been failing...WOW! And they have given me hope. Wich for me has been the biggest drive. Hope for my child. I really cant ask for more than that can I?

Why Moms of special-needs kids rock!...i stole this from another blog

Top 20 Reasons Moms of Kids With Special Needs ROCK

1. Because we never thought that “doing it all” would mean doing this much. But we do it all, and then some.
2. Because we’ve discovered patience we never knew we had.
3. Because we are willing to do something 10 times, 100 times, 1,000 times if that’s what it takes for our kids to learn something new.
4. Because we have heard doctors tell us the worst, and we've refused to believe them. TAKE THAT, nay-saying doctors of the world.
5. Because we have bad days and breakdowns and bawl-fests, and then we pick ourselves up and keep right on going.
6. Because we gracefully handle the stares, the comments, the rude remarks. Well, mostly gracefully.
7. Because we manage to get ourselves together and get out the door looking pretty darn good. Heck, we even make sweatpants look good.
8. Because we are strong. Man, are we strong. Who knew we could be this strong?
9. Because we aren’t just moms, wives, cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs, women who work. We are moms, wives, cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs, women who work, physical therapists, speech therapists, occupational therapists, teachers, researchers, nurses, coaches, and cheerleaders. Whew.
10. Because we work overtime every single day.
11. Because we also worry overtime, but we work it through. Or we eat chocolate or Pirate's Booty or gourmet cheese, which aren't reimbursable by insurance as mental-health necessities but should be.
12. Because we are more selfless than other moms. Our kids need us more.
13. Because we give our kids with special needs endless love, and then we still have so much love left for our other kids, our husbands, our family. And our hairstylist, of course.
14. Because we inspire one another in this crazy blogosphere every single day.
15. Because we understand our kids better than anyone else—even if they can’t talk, even if they can’t gesture, even if they can't look us in the eye. We know. We just know.
16. Because we never stop pushing for our kids.
17. Because we never stop hoping for them, either.
18. Because just when it seems like things are going OK, they're suddenly not OK, but we deal. Somehow, we always deal, even when it seems like our heads or hearts might explode.
19. Because when we look at our kids we just see great kids. Not "kids with cerebral palsy/autism/Down syndrome/developmental delays/whatever label."
20. Because, well, you tell me.

I stole this from another blog, i thought it was great! lovethatmax.com...but i changed one word because it wasnt "g" rated :)

Therepy

To help you have a further understanding of autism i wanted to occasionally share therepey techniques with you. Allot of Elijah's therapy they make him do is a lot of fun! This is an 8ft long fabric tunnel. Because autistic children often get overwhelmed with their senses, and the world around them, a secluded dark place often helps them escape and re group.

can you tell he hates it? lol. Ever since he has started OT, there has been a huge change in him. We are trying to teach him how to deal with his over reactive sensory system and how to deal with it independently. And its going great. I love seeing things that work, and have results! So here ya go, one of the therapy's Elijah does!

What is Autisium?

Well, if you asked an autistic childs parent this question you would get a different answear every time. The "spectrum"as they call it is so wide. Every autistic child has their own unique strenths and weaknesses. I can only tell you what Autisim is for me and my family.
I can tell you even though elijah is the Autistic one it effects our entire family. It affects how often we venture out in public, its starting to effect what we eat. It affects our daily schedual. At this point it consumes our day.
Here is what one web site says about it;

What Does Autism Mean?

Autism (say: aw-tih-zum) causes kids to experience the world differently from the way most other kids do. It's hard for kids with autism to talk with other people and express themselves using words. Kids who have autism usually keep to themselves and many can't communicate without special help.
They also may react to what's going on around them in unusual ways. Normal sounds may really bother someone with autism — so much so that the person covers his or her ears. Being touched, even in a gentle way, may feel uncomfortable.
Kids with autism often can't make connections that other kids make easily. For example, when someone smiles, you know the smiling person is happy or being friendly. But a kid with autism may have trouble connecting that smile with the person's happy feelings.
A kid who has autism also has trouble linking words to their meanings. Imagine trying to understand what your mom is saying if you didn't know what her words really mean. It is doubly frustrating then if a kid can't come up with the right words to express his or her own thoughts.
Autism causes kids to act in unusual ways. They might flap their hands, say certain words over and over, have temper tantrums, or play only with one particular toy. Most kids with autism don't like changes in routines. They like to stay on a schedule that is always the same. They also may insist that their toys or other objects be arranged a certain way and get upset if these items are moved or disturbed.
If someone has autism, his or her brain has trouble with an important job: making sense of the world. Every day, your brain interprets the sights, sounds, smells, and other sensations that you experience. If your brain couldn't help you understand these things, you would have trouble functioning, talking, going to school, and doing other everyday stuff. Kids can be mildly affected by autism, so that they only have a little trouble in life, or they can be very affected, so that they need a lot of help
Autism affects about 1 in every 150 kids, but no one knows what causes it. Some scientists think that some kids might be more likely to get autism because it or similar disorders run in their families. Knowing the exact cause of autism is hard because the human brain is very complicated.
The brain contains over 100 billion nerve cells called neurons (say: nur-ahns). Each neuron may have hundreds or thousands of connections that carry messages to other nerve cells in the brain and body. The connections and the chemical messengers they send (called neurotransmitters) let the neurons that help you see, feel, move, remember, and work together as they should.
For some reason, some of the cells and connections in the brain of a kid with autism — especially those that affect communication, emotions, and senses — don't develop properly or get damaged. Scientists are still trying to understand how and why this happens.

What Do Doctors Do?

Figuring out if a kid has autism can be difficult. A parent is usually the first to suspect that something is wrong. Maybe the kid is old enough to speak but doesn't, doesn't seem interested in people, or behaves in other unusual ways. But autism isn't the only problem that can cause these kinds of symptoms. For example, kids who have hearing problems might have trouble speaking, too.
Usually, the results of lab tests and other medical tests are normal in kids with autism, but doctors may do them to make sure the kid doesn't have other problems. These medical tests can include blood and urine tests, a hearing exam, an EEG (a test to measure brain waves), and an MRI (a picture that shows the structure of the brain). Intelligence (IQ) tests also might be done.
Often, specialists work together as a team to figure out what is wrong. The team might include a pediatrician, a pediatric neurologist, a pediatric developmentalist, a child psychiatrist, a child psychologist, speech and language therapists, and others. The team members study how the child plays, learns, communicates, and behaves. The team listens carefully to what parents have noticed, too. Using the information they've gathered, doctors can decide whether a child has autism or another problem

How Is Autism Treated?

There is no cure for autism, but doctors, therapists, and special teachers can help kids with autism overcome or adjust to many difficulties. The earlier a kid starts treatment for autism, the better.
Different kids need different kinds of help, but learning how to communicate is always an important first step. Spoken language can be hard for kids with autism to learn. Most understand words better by seeing them, so therapists teach them how to communicate by pointing or using pictures or sign language. That makes learning other things easier, and eventually, many kids with autism learn to talk.
Therapists also help kids learn social skills, such as how to greet people, wait for a turn, and follow directions. Some kids need special help with living skills (like brushing teeth or making a bed). Others have trouble sitting still or controlling their tempers and need therapy to help them control their behavior. Some kids take medications to help their moods and behavior, but there's no medicine that will make a kid's autism go away.
Students with mild autism sometimes can go to regular school. But most kids with autism need calmer, more orderly surroundings. They also need teachers trained to understand the problems they have with communicating and learning. They may learn at home or in special classes at public or private schools.

Living With Autism

Some kids with mild autism will grow up and be able to live on their own. Those with more serious problems will always need some kind of help. But all kids with autism have brighter futures when they have the support and understanding of doctors, teachers, caregivers, parents, brothers, sisters, and friends.
Reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: April 2008
Originally reviewed by: Wendelin A. Burdo-Hartman, MD

 

How an Autistic child celebrates his birthday

How does an autistic child celebrate his birthday? Well like anyone else would of course! we all piled in the car and headed to a local bounce house. So my little boy could bounce his little heart out. and he did. He conquered every ladder slide and bouncy structure. He behaved better than most kids there. And then we headed over to McDonald's to have one of Elijah's favorite foods. mcknuggets!..and allot of ketchup. You see even though Elijah is autistic, he is so normal on many different levels. he is just like any other boy. And that's how we see him. It was a great day, to celebrate a great boy. I love my little family. I love my 3 year old.

Just like any other mommy

After a month of puking my guts out. And finally realizing i had an allergic reaction to my birth control. Something never showed up....Thinking it was because the pill had made me so sick, it must not have worked correctly..and i went to the pharmacy to get my correct prescription (they had given me the wrong one the previous month and i was on vacation and stranded) i decided to take a test "just in case" before i started a new pack...and i got the shock of my life..(hence taking about 20 pregnancy tests) Before Julia i had struggled with 6 1/2 years of infertility..i had thought i would never have an oops baby...but we were going too! Due April 10th 2008 i was terrified. my pregnancy with Julia was less than ideal and i never wanted to get pregnant again.

But on April 9th 2008, one day before my due date, I gave birth to a beautiful, perfect baby boy. 7lbs 14oz almost 1/3 my height at almost 21 inches long.

And just like any other mommy i took one look into my baby boys eyes and fell madly in love

  And just like any other daddy Kris held his son with great pride and nicked named him his "son of promise"

  And just like any other mommy i love my son more than life its self. We have been through so much these past 3 years together. And my love for him has grown beyond words. Just like any other mommy

Meetings...we have alot of them

We had a meeting today with an autism specialist this morning. We have to decide between 2 different approaches for Elijah's therapy. I have to call around to a bunch of different schools and interview them. They have to come to house and pitch their program. i am looking at allot of hours a week of therapy in house. It's hard to know what the right decision will be. We are leaning towards a more structured program right now. If we do this we lose Elijah's current therapists, they are not in the program we desire. we are trying to look at this from every angle. I just wants what best for my son. The reward is 10 fold tho. Tonight at Elijah's party he did so well. I am seeing this pay off already in such a short time. I love my little boy. I am so afraid to make the wrong decision. How am i supposed to know what therapy is right for him? Kris and i are thinking of attending a autism parent support group. I am gonna research a little further. I know we will figure this all out, the path getting there can be intimidating. In other posts i will cover the 2 approaches they use for autism. Its really interesting!

A video with a story similar to mine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYzJhUFGSVc i cried the entire 10 minutes because our story's are so similar. you may want to turn the volume down.

I cried the day i found out Elijah was put on the Spectrum

I guess alot of parents get mad at the bearer of the autisium message. Our peidtrician was the one to tell my husband. He was at a well child check up for titus when she let him know that elijah had failed his MCHAT (a survey style questionair to screen for early autisium). Kris handeled it rearkably. It didnt really bother him. He came home and told me. And i cried. I dont know why. It doesnt mean i love elijah less, or he is less of a person. I had been dealing with his behaviors at that point for over a year. Its not like being put on the spectrum all the sudden makes anything thing worse/better. Elijah wold be autistic labled or not. But i felt so many emotions at that point. Guilt (was it something i had done pregnant?) Sadness(he will struggle) Hope (maybe they are wrong) fear (of the future). I sat on my living room floor with big ole crocadile tears running out of my eyes holding my son and i let it all sink in. I will always remember that day...because elijah couldnt have been any more precious or more dear to me then at that moment. I wrote that day in his baby book. And then i decided to move forward.

PECs

If you were to come over my house during the day you would see thease. Thease are PECs cards. Picture Exchange Communication System. I actually made the ones pictured. Thease cards are to help non verbal people communicate their needs with the hope that eventually they will put words to the pictures. This is one of the therepy things i do with elijah. I am still trying to get used to it..it doesnt feel so natural yet. I am told it will...we will see..haha.

Because Elijah has a hard time identifing emotion we have cards for that too. I never seem to remember to break out the mad card tho when he is throwing a fit....like i said it will take time to get used to,

We are trying to have a pec for everything.

This is a very common system on trying to teach non verbal chilren to communicate their needs. Elijah still has a long way to go with this. He still has a hard time identifiying the word with the picture. But he will get it eventually. As of now i am making up games to help him. Treasure Hunts with the pec cards. I am trying to be creative so it seems more fun than work..because communiting his needs is really hard work for him. So now you know. PECS! A simple idea..great potential!

Intruducing Zoe Jean..aka..Tracie Jr ;)

Yesterday i went a traveling into the middle of no where. For real. Over the river and through the woods to...Katie's house i did go. Haha just joking, even tho Katie likes to pretend she lives in the middle of no where it really isn't  bad! I mean she has a walmart, pizza places and a good church.. what more do you need? She lives in a super cute small town(which i happen to love small towns) and now i have a super cute small niece (my very first) who lives there..away from me. Stupid long distances. But My sister is very well taken care of and very loved up there in the boonies. She has really great friends who love her almost as much as i do. So it makes it  a little easier...OK that's a lie, but it makes me happy to know at least.

Welcome Home Brinkerhoff Family!
I am hoping they will learn to love her in time. (hhahahaha)

My Sweet niece was born march 31st at 12:11 at 7lbs 1oz and 18 1/2in. If you dressed her in blue and herd her cry you would still know she was a girl...she is so feminine, even her cry is girlie! I miss her already.

10 things elijah wishes you knew

Here are ten things every child with autism wishes you knew:
1. I am first and foremost a child. I have autism. I am not primarily “autistic.” My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.
As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don’t think I “can do it,” my natural response will be: Why try?
2. My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a “simple” trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:
My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today’s special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can’t filter all the input and I’m in overload!
My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia….I can’t sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.
Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing — the space seems to be constantly changing. There’s glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with “tunnel vision”), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can’t even tell where my body is in space.
3. Please remember to distinguish between won’t (I choose not to) and can’t (I am not able to).
Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: “*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*………” Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: “Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It’s time to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.
4. I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It’s very confusing for me when you say, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you really mean is “Please stop running.” Don’t tell me something is a “piece of cake” when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is “this will be easy for you to do.” When you say “It’s pouring cats and dogs,” I see pets coming out of a pitcher. Please just tell me “It’s raining very hard.”

Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.
5. Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It’s hard for me to tell you what I need when I don’t know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.
Or, there’s a flip side to this: I may sound like a “little professor” or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called “echolalia.” I don’t necessarily understand the context or the terminology I’m using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.
6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.
A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations. Here’s a great website for learning more about visual schedules: http://www.blogger.com/www.cesa7.k12.wi.us/sped/autism/structure/str11.htm.
I won’t lose the need for a visual schedule as I get older, but my “level of representation” may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words.
7. Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do. Like any other human, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough and that I need “fixing.” Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however “constructive,” becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one “right” way to do most things.
8. Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I’m delighted to be included.
I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don’t know how to “read” facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny. It’s that I don’t know the proper response. Teach me to say “Are you OK?”
9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.
Try to remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment.
Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior.
10. If you are a family member, please love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, “If he would just……” and “Why can’t she…..” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you – I am worth it.
And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won’t be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.
They had autism too.

The begining signs with elijah

Its hard to say when i first noticed something was different. Elijah is very normal to me. He is so normal in fact, in many different areas, as any little boy would be. When i look back at things now, better educated about autism i can say, ahhhh that's why he did that etc.But allot of early signs can just be nuances or quirks.  I think my first "different" or memorable times i can think back on goes to when he was 6 months old. I remember Elijah refused to wear bibs, he would get all weird about having them around his neck. He would tear them off every single time. Don't seem significant, but to this day Elijah hates things going around his head. I now know children with autism, not all of them but a good number, have sensory integration issues. which basically means their 5 senses that we all use are in over drive or in some cases under drive. Elijah hates being changed. You may say, any kid does..but this is to the extreme. If you would like to experience this, come get Elijah dressed for church on a Sunday morning. There is allot of screaming crying kicking biting hitting punching going on. allot of fun lol. It normally takes over and hour to calm him back down. Another way Elijah is sensory sensitive, he actually under reacts to pain, he can get hurt really really bad and it doesn't phase him. He also sometimes has a hard time with sound and touch but i haven't been able to figure out his triggers for that yet. He also hates taking medicine orally. not fun.
I also remember he would obsess over outlet covers. he had to pull them out. another thing that doesn't seem so unusual but he was obsessed, one time i spent over 4hrs teaching him not to touch and he still didn't get it. Of course i now know autistic children do not get social clues, discipline is very hard to reinforce when a child doesn't get language or emotion.
another thing that stands out is how adamant he hated cameras, another common problem with autistic children. I will let you in on a little secret. I got into photography because of my sweet boy. I could no longer take him to professionals because of his extreme opposition to being photographed. So i stepped up to the plate. I would not let my little boys life go unrecorded. It is still very difficult to get a picture of him, but he is improving in this area.
I remember Elijah as being such an easy sweet baby he rarely asked for anything. He was undemanding and easy gong. He was way ahead in all the physical milestones,  sat at 3 months  old, crawled in his 5th month walking by 9 months etc...he even spoke his first word on time according to developmental mile stones. 
its funny looking back how things make sense now...but those would be the earliest signs i had of Elijah up to 9 months old. I cant say any thing was exactly earth shattering. That was just the way he was.

Autisium Awarness Month

For Family Members

A child’s autism diagnosis affects every member of the family in different ways. Parents/caregivers must now place their primary focus on helping their child with ASD, which may put strains on their marriage, other children, work, finances, and personal relationships and responsibilities. Parents now have to shift much of their resources of time and money towards providing treatment and interventions for their child, to the exclusion of other priorities. The needs of a child with ASD complicate familial relationships, especially with siblings. However, parents can help their family by informing their other children about autism and the complications it introduces, understanding the challenges siblings face and helping them cope, and involving members of the extended family to create a network of help and understanding (Understanding Autism for Dummies, 2006).

About Autism

Autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and affects a person’s ability to communicate and interact with others. Autism is defined by a certain set of behaviors and is a "spectrum disorder" that affects individuals differently and to varying degrees. There is no known single cause for autism, but increased awareness and funding can help families today.

In December 2009, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued their ADDM autism prevalence report. The report concluded that the prevalence of autism had risen to 1 in every 110 births in the United States and almost 1 in 70 boys. The issuance of this report caused a media uproar, but the news was not a surprise to the Autism Society or to the 1.5 million Americans living with the effects of autism spectrum disorder. Nonetheless, the spotlight shown on autism as a result of the prevalence increase opens opportunities for the nation to consider how to serve these families facing a lifetime of supports for their children.

Currently, the Autism Society estimates that the lifetime cost of caring for a child with autism ranges from $3.5 million to $5 million, and that the United States is facing almost $90 billion annually in costs for autism (this figure includes research, insurance costs and non-covered expenses, Medicaid waivers for autism, educational spending, housing, transportation, employment, in addition to related therapeutic services and caregiver costs).

Know the Signs: Early Identification Can Change Lives

Autism is treatable. Children do not "outgrow" autism, but studies show that early diagnosis and intervention lead to significantly improved outcomes.

Here are some signs to look for in the children in your life:

• Lack of or delay in spoken language
• Repetitive use of language and/or motor mannerisms (e.g., hand-flapping, twirling objects)
• Little or no eye contact
• Lack of interest in peer relationships
• Lack of spontaneous or make-believe play
• Persistent fixation on parts of objects.....

Copied from the autisium socity website